Posts tagged personal
all i want to do right now is draw pretty things and then color those pretty things but all i’m doing is staring at this sketchbook and frowning at all the SHIT THAT IS APPEARING AT THE END OF THIS PENCIL AND GOD DAMN IT THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING WHY CAN’T I JUST DRAW AND COLOR PRETTY THINGS FRICK
F R I C K
this is a vent, please ignore.
Out of a top possible score of 12, my love languages are:
10 - quality time
9 - physical touch
7 - gifts
3 - words of affirmation
1 - acts of service
Iiiiiiinterestiiiiiiing. I’m surprised at how high physical touch is and how low words of affirmation are. Go figure :)
I went on a first date and tasted romantic rejection for the first time in my life earlier this week. After the initial shock (we got along really well, had a great date, and had a LOT in common), I was a bit confused and seriously dejected…my self esteem took a bad hit.
But then I realized!! It wasn’t me. He told me he didn’t feel a connection. Is that my fault? No. He also told me I am an amazing woman…just not for him. I respect that. I’m awesome. He was really sweet. But not any two people will have that “connection”, whatever that means.
So basically now, I’m okay. It hurt, but I learned from it. I was myself, which is important, and that meant we found out we weren’t a good fit….saving me a lot of potential heartbreak later. Yes, this was a good learning experience. It sucked (and still kinda sucks), but still a good experience.
Back to being single with zero prospects, though…sigh. I’m kind of tired of being single -__-
I let a coworker look through one of my sketchbooks at work and she was trying to tell me how creative I was
And I just sat there and looked at all the almost identical floating heads on the page and laughed in her face
I am 92% sure that a certain one of my coworkers has a crush on me and, while I find the idea cute, I am not at all attracted to this dude and just please god NO. He’s very nice but he is almost a foot shorter than me and he doesn’t speak English too well and pleeeeeease I don’t want to hurt his feelings so I just ignore it or act clueless every time he passes me and mutters that he likes me under his breath in Spanish or that one time he got tipsy after work and asked me if I’d like to be his girlfriend in Spanish or that time the other Hispanic dudes started teasing him because he always acts shy when I’m around. I don’t want to deal with this but I get the feeling he might actually ask me out soon and NOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE DONT ;___; I don’t want to hurt your feelings plus WE WORK TOGETHER PLEEEEASE DONT MAKE MY WORK ENVIRONMENT AWKWARD
I’m considering becoming a teacher. I have private tutoring experience and I actually enjoy helping others understand stuff. God only knows I don’t really have any other direction for my life at the moment. I’ve been working at a sushi place for almost a year now, with no real plans for a change. The thing is…teaching certification is like a 2 year, $5000 commitment. And after that, if I teach for 5 consecutive years at a low income school, I can have several thousand dollars of my federal student loans forgiven (I have over $85,000 left in debt at this point, both federal and private). So yes, that is absolutely a huge plus.
But….I thought I would be in Korea by now. Experiencing the world. At the very least, I thought I would be out of my parents’ house by this point. I’m not ready to commit and settle into a career. I don’t know if I even LIKE teaching. I’ve only ever done one on one tutoring, which is reeeeeally different from teaching large groups of kids. Another thing: what if I suck at it? One on one settings are great because I can give individual attention to specific things my students need help with—teaching groups doesn’t have that luxury. How do I know if I’m getting through to students? What if I’m confusing as hell? I hated sitting in classes with teachers who I thought didn’t know what the hell they were doing. But now IM THE ONE WHO DOESNT KNOW WHAT THE HELL IM DOING. SHIT.
I dunno, man. I dunno what to do. There’s an informational meeting in like, 3 weeks at a community college nearby. I guess I’ll start there.
I haven’t made (or had any dealings with, really) any OCs for a while. I feel like making a few. Should I dig out an old story from my idea notebook or come up with something new? Just thinking about it is making my insides bubble with excitement and anticipation…lalalalaaaaa new characters new characterssssss~~~
I went for a late night after work drink with a bestie, saw a cute guy sitting alone 2 seats down from me at the bar (coincidentally he was looking curiously over at said friend and me), and I promptly turned away, clammed up, and refused to even look in his direction for a solid hour. Eventually he lost interest and got up to leave, leaving me in a steaming pile of tipsy regret.
WHAT THE HELL, SELF. WHAT THE FUCKING EVER LIVING HELL.
I came home from a 10 day vacation a few days ago and discovered my dog missing. I’ve had that dog for almost 15 years. She isn’t coming back. This is how I’m coping…crying and then drawing. Art therapy is the best therapy. I feel better.
so, i’m getting a second job…meaning that starting sometime in the second half of this week, i’ll start working 14 hours a day, travel time not included………………DAMN YOU, STUDENT LOANS!!!!!!!!!
this does not bode well for my exercise plan, tumblr usage, or sanity *___*