-pretend I put a read more cut here-
Work at the new job was long. There’s not much for me to do there…which is somehow more draining than having a lot to do. It’s a mental strain, staring at blank walls in dead silence and pulling staples all day.
I’ve been emotionally upset for like 3 days. Today was probably the peak of that stress. I said some things I probably shouldn’t have. I yelled at my mom. I yelled at my friend. I yelled at my brother. I yelled at myself. Stupid. So tired.
I’ve been “working out” for about two weeks. I was sore, now I’m not. Yet I couldn’t muster the energy to get up and stick with my routine today. What a waste…failure today, hopefully not tomorrow. Knowing me, though…
Guys, life is at a low point right now. Staying positive is so hard. I know I have a lot going for me…but taking the focus away from the negative is something I have always struggled with. I can’t tell the difference between feeling sorry for myself for insignificant things and actually having something serious to worry and stress about. Finding a balance between self love and self criticism is so so difficult. I feel like I am 1000000% too self centered regardless of everything.
I should work on being a better person. But I’m tired.